Currently Incredibad By The Lonely Island see related

Jamin at 30

I have only an hour until I’m officially 30, so here are my final completely random (and needlessly dramatic at times) thoughts at 29.

1. I have to pee.

2. I don’t feel that I should have to get a 30-and-over club card or change preferred radio stations (I already listen to NPR most of the time (or my iPod), so I’m well into my 60s for radio choices). Also, if you have to label an event “only for the grown and sexy”, it’s probably not a “grown and sexy” event.

3. I can no longer laugh at crass humor. I love inappropriate and warped humor. Now I have to be responsible with my humor.

4. To those of you still in your 20s, try to get to a 3rd world country for either a vacation or mission-type trip. (I highly recommend sub-Saharan Africa or Latin America.) Not at a resort, but something amongst the people, for at least 9 days or more. It will change your perspective in so many ways about your real place as an American and where you should be in the world.

5. Speaking of responsibility, I have to be responsible now. I am already, but there is no excuse for mistakes now. I can no longer casually date for fun. Every choice I make has to be the right one. Everything is significant. I have to marry only for money. I have to have $1 million saved up for each child I plan to have, just to have them make it through one year. I have to know the correct answer to any question asked of me and be a VP by 40. So much pressure. Thank God I’m 30 now and can magically execute each task flawlessly.

6. I can no longer like video games. No more Guitar Hero III or The Sims. No more comic books. It’s all serious books now. What does Oprah recommend this month?

7. Gasp! I’ll have to rush into marriage now. No more wasting time!

8. I don’t look forward to losing touch with certain friends throughout the years. Thank God for Facebook, but it’s not the same as seeing and hanging with the original Chocolate Posse, the Party Posse…and others. I didn’t have friends until the 10th grade. So, friends mean a lot more to me than most folks.

9. I’ll need to own either a Lexus IS or BMW 3 or Mercedes C or CLK within the next year. So I can look like I fit in while riding around yuppie areas of DC.

10. I can’t dance like I like to dance anymore. Janet Jackson and Madonna are flukes in the rule. Even though I had aspired at 29 to be able to move like them at their ages (47 and 55, respectively – it’s true…Janet is SO not early 40s!), now that I’m 30 I know that is impossible. Thus, I will relegate myself to the “head bob” when a song I like comes on. Less chance of a muscle pull or broken bone that way.

11. I’ve only been in love once until now. Once. It was an unhealthy situation, but I was in love. Is that good or bad to only be in love once from birth-29?

12. I don’t like not knowing things. For example, all this effort I’m putting into the career I want…will it work? That’s not up to me to decide, I know, but that’s an example of “not knowing something” that I don’t necessarily like. But such is life.

13. I always knew that 30 was coming. I prayed to live to see it. But now that I have 34 minutes until it happens, it’s a new awareness.

14. Random, but…No, I still don’t “get” the hype around Beyonce. And while she hit 30 four years ago, I like her music, her entertaining style, her singing voice (most times), and thought she did a good job in Dreamgirls, but I don’t get it as far as her being the first choice for a singer at the Oscars, Grammys, We Are One Concert, Emmys, Tonys, SAG, etc. (Those last few will happen, just give it time.) – That was for Marc and Nick. Love ya!

15. Related – I’m still more of a Mariah fan than Whitney. Always have been.

16. Still related – Nope, still don’t like R. Kelly. Never did. Even when he first came on the scene.

17. I don’t look forward to strange new body pains that I’ve heard starts at 30. I also don’t look forward to having to go to bed earlier simply because I can’t “hang” anymore. But maybe I’ll get more done in a day now by going to bed early and getting up earlier? Hmm…

18. I really thought I would get at least 30 thoughts out, but oh well.

19. I look forward to having more wisdom, better relationships, better living, better choices, and all the good things that come along with being 30 and over.

20. Since “30 is the new 20” I’ll leave with thought #20. Besides, this is long enough. To those who are below 30, enjoy your 20s. You don’t know as much as you think you do. Be willing to make a mistake sometimes. Live life with love and enjoy. Treat others the way you want to be treated. For believers, Jesus first, then everything else.

Take time out to slow down and enjoy life. Don’t become so obsessed with “success” and trying to work so hard to do EVERYTHING by 30 because you have this goal in mind that if you don’t life isn’t going to improve or be worth it. It’s really just a number. Life moves on and goes on. Time is linear, and these numbers are a way of keeping track of where you are on the line. Life still happens. To those 30 and over, I look to you for help and guidance on this day.

Thirty (30), thank God for you. I accept you.

Currently Listening Fearless By Crystal Lewis "My Friend" see related

Bittersweet Tears Have Fallen

I feel totally sappy now.  Emotions are raw again.
This is how it is when you love a friend.
He's leaving for twenty-seven months,
And I think, on Friday, I'll be in a funk.
In such a short time we've become close
Yet there is still much with which to become engrossed.
Yet, still, I've learned much in a compressed time
From which it will take a while to unwind.

I remember our first talk
I couldn't believe you and I did the same walk.
You just don't meet people like that at those parties
Relevant, real, well-versed and a smarty.
I remember our talks on the phone
Some topics were bitter
Others as sweet as mascarpone
I remember a huge lesson learned one night
About what I hadn't done right
I remember relaxing to Lauryn afterwards
And how we were blocking the parking lot
Just chilling and singing.
I remember seeing how free you are
While sitting in your car
And making a decision to embrace moments like this
In my own life and be free myself, no longer a wish,
But a reality.

Here's where we are now.
We've learned and prayerfully will continue to do so
Even though we both have places to go
And people to serve
And things to learn
But still
For each other, our hearts will yearn

I thank God for matching us up that night
And for what can only be attributed to his might
I hope to see you at least twice
Bathed in the Botswanan sunlight
I mean, it would only be right, right?

I'm going to miss you and Lord willing, it's not the end
You've been an amazing friend
A real one, through and through
Know that I love you.

I'm better for having known you.
Now, go, do what you have to do.
I'll be me.  You'll be you.
But never forget this -
To God, to yourself, always be true.

Embarrassing Again

So I wrote a blog a few weeks ago where I was listing embarrassing things I've done in life.  Here's another one:

I didn't have friends until I was about 15 years old in the 10th grade.  I guess Kelli counted as a friend before then, but I really didn't have any friends I could count on as friends (aside from her) until the 10th grade. 

Every year we got yearbooks before the end of the school year.  Everyone would pass around their books to get signed for the summer.  I was amazed at how many signatures people got in a day or so.  People had their front and back flaps FILLED.  I had a few signatures from classmates with mostly comments like, "I didn't get to know you well this year, but you seem okay/weird/leave me alone/etc., so have a good summer."

Then there were the other signatures from my friends Dante, Jeff, Belinda, Caicee, Aleika, Daphne, Jacquel, Sven (I think once), etc.  You ready for this one?

They were the friends I played with while growing up.  It's just that I would play with them in my house, in my room while alone.  Yep, they were imaginary friends.  Most people have one...who they get rid of when they turn 8 or 9.  No, mine stuck until around 7th grade.  And I didn't have one.  I had a CREW. 

So, it was sad.  It still is.  And it's very embarrassing.  Thank God for the REAL friends I have now! 

Currently Listening The Evolution of Gospel By Sounds of Blackness "Optimistic" see related

Gay Marriage

Gays,

You say you want to get married, but are you ready for the work involved?  There is an article in Time magazine this week that describes how gay couples are more harmonious in their relationships, but more likely than heterosexuals to end their relationships.  One reason for this might be marriage.  The author mentions that for gays it's easy to end the relationship because you just move out.  For heterosexuals married couples it's a bit harder because divorce is expensive, and you also made a commitment to work it out.  The author says that if he were married, he would still be with his ex and probably have kids by now.  He ends the article by stating that while heterosexual couples can learn from homosexual couples on how to live harmoniously, homosexuals can learn from heterosexuals on how to have a lasting relationship.

See, men and women, marriage takes work to get through rough patches; much more work than a dating relationship.  Are you ready to put in the work?  If I can speak honestly about this, I don't think you are.  As a majority from what I've observed (from real life, not from Hollywood), many gays want stability, family life, marriage, kids, homes, etc.  You would think that would mean that most are marriage-ready.  I would disagree based on actions.  Sure, the thoughts are great.  The desires are great.  The actions, however, are lacking. 

Are you prepared to have the hard conversations with your spouse that might leave you feeling a bit unruffled?  Are you prepared to still love your spouse even though you don't like him/her today?  Are you prepared to stick it out when a problem that was a minor annoyance when you were dating is now a full-blown issue?  (People are on their best behavior before they say "I do," even if you live with them beforehand.)  Are you prepared to discuss what's proper discipline for the children?  Are you prepared to be completely vulnerable and open to someone who will be your best friend for life, trusting that they won't deliberately hurt you when they have everything they need to do so?  Are you going to be okay with your spouse having certain issues that can damage the happy home, but working with him/her to overcome them, or at least live with them peacefully?

There is more than equal rights at stake here.  Marriage is declining in this country in favor of cohabitation.  It can be theorized that gay marriage can help boost the numbers, but I don't think it'll boost it that much.  Based upon the current rate that gays end their relationships, I think divorce rates might go up.  However, there might be hope that realizing what commitment is involved in marriage, gays might think thrice before saying "I do."  Besides, heterosexuals are cohabitating more now and gays might choose that route too with the option of getting married if they want to.  Marriage is a serious matter.  When done right (and some may take a while longer to get to "done right" than others), I think it's the most rewarding human-human relationship. 

There's a lot of folks who think that gays don't take relationships seriously.  They think that gay relationships end too quickly and that gays give up more than heterosexuals.  The numbers seem to support this.  Will marriage change that?  Will marriage be a constant reminder that there's a deeper commitment and involvement here?  Will the marriage produce things that you can't easily walk away from, but choose to work together to get it working well again?  When you live together, you always have an out - moving out.  When you're married, it's a bit harder to do that.  And oftentimes, it's worth sticking it out.  After all, the straights do it much more often.  Are they more successful at relationships? 

Only you can determine that. 

Currently Listening Holding Nothing Back By Tim Hughes see related

So, When Do We Stop?