Currently Listening The Evolution of Gospel By Sounds of Blackness "Optimistic" see related

Gays,

You say you want to get married, but are you ready for the work involved?  There is an article in Time magazine this week that describes how gay couples are more harmonious in their relationships, but more likely than heterosexuals to end their relationships.  One reason for this might be marriage.  The author mentions that for gays it's easy to end the relationship because you just move out.  For heterosexuals married couples it's a bit harder because divorce is expensive, and you also made a commitment to work it out.  The author says that if he were married, he would still be with his ex and probably have kids by now.  He ends the article by stating that while heterosexual couples can learn from homosexual couples on how to live harmoniously, homosexuals can learn from heterosexuals on how to have a lasting relationship.

See, men and women, marriage takes work to get through rough patches; much more work than a dating relationship.  Are you ready to put in the work?  If I can speak honestly about this, I don't think you are.  As a majority from what I've observed (from real life, not from Hollywood), many gays want stability, family life, marriage, kids, homes, etc.  You would think that would mean that most are marriage-ready.  I would disagree based on actions.  Sure, the thoughts are great.  The desires are great.  The actions, however, are lacking. 

Are you prepared to have the hard conversations with your spouse that might leave you feeling a bit unruffled?  Are you prepared to still love your spouse even though you don't like him/her today?  Are you prepared to stick it out when a problem that was a minor annoyance when you were dating is now a full-blown issue?  (People are on their best behavior before they say "I do," even if you live with them beforehand.)  Are you prepared to discuss what's proper discipline for the children?  Are you prepared to be completely vulnerable and open to someone who will be your best friend for life, trusting that they won't deliberately hurt you when they have everything they need to do so?  Are you going to be okay with your spouse having certain issues that can damage the happy home, but working with him/her to overcome them, or at least live with them peacefully?

There is more than equal rights at stake here.  Marriage is declining in this country in favor of cohabitation.  It can be theorized that gay marriage can help boost the numbers, but I don't think it'll boost it that much.  Based upon the current rate that gays end their relationships, I think divorce rates might go up.  However, there might be hope that realizing what commitment is involved in marriage, gays might think thrice before saying "I do."  Besides, heterosexuals are cohabitating more now and gays might choose that route too with the option of getting married if they want to.  Marriage is a serious matter.  When done right (and some may take a while longer to get to "done right" than others), I think it's the most rewarding human-human relationship. 

There's a lot of folks who think that gays don't take relationships seriously.  They think that gay relationships end too quickly and that gays give up more than heterosexuals.  The numbers seem to support this.  Will marriage change that?  Will marriage be a constant reminder that there's a deeper commitment and involvement here?  Will the marriage produce things that you can't easily walk away from, but choose to work together to get it working well again?  When you live together, you always have an out - moving out.  When you're married, it's a bit harder to do that.  And oftentimes, it's worth sticking it out.  After all, the straights do it much more often.  Are they more successful at relationships? 

Only you can determine that.